This post is more of a mocking than serious advice, provided that a) STL includes <fstream> header with std::ifstream and std::ofstream classes, that do the same without any additional effort, and b) mixing templates and libC is just plain weird in my book. Continue reading
– text in italic is by Douglas Adams, [comments in brackets] are mine…
this is basically just one madness I wrote for my old site as “Abouts…” page, based on the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books 🙂
About the universe
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
[Then came the great-potatoes… and everyone’s been happy – fries for free, toenails bitting for free… you name it. Oh yeah, those were happier days.]
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
[But then… All of a sudden, someone wanted a ketchup on his/her fries, and there was a big shivering. And so, people were created, and this made lotsa people really angry… especially those left out in the creation, but also those created – each of them envied the other group. To stop all this fuzz, they made them do the ketchup, and some other goods, mainly required by the too-many-hands creatures. But this made people even more sad, and the sadness spread even further…]
– “Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it,” – said Marvin.
– “And what happened?” – pressed Ford.
– “It committed suicide,” – said Marvin and stalked off…
About the world today…
[Wasn’t the history of universe depressing enough???]
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.
You can get first 3 books of HHGTG here.
Thanks a lot to Symmetry factor for posting this! 😀
Wonderful parody of the way HEP papers are written, by Warren Siegel, author of amazing book Fields – free comprehensive textbook on quantum and classical field theory.
I love especially the sentence “We begin by avoiding a discussion of the following relevant topics: …”. 😀
You can find more physics parodies on Warren Siegel’s pages.
Btw, am I the only one who finds arXiv‘s search to be really crappy?
First of all, photo of my favourite cat – she’s a real bookworm cat. 😀
[Info: I have no idea to whom this cat belongs, if to anyone at all, I just often see her sleeping in a window of one bookshop, just like in the picture]
Few years ago I made the following 3 PDF’s of The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy 5-books series, for my old web site.